Do your parents say like “f ottomans!” or “those were the times!”
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okay, this may end up being confusing, but oh well. my friend named “B” liked this guy named “Z”. well Z asked her to come sit at his lunch table with his buddies. but B didn’t wanna go alone, so i went with her. well, when we got to Z’s table, there were 3 empty seats. 1 by Z, and 2 on each side of Z’s friend “D”. well, B is kinda shy, so she went and sat by D so she wouldn’t have to sit by Z and be all blushing and stuff. well, i went to go sit by Z (across from B), but Z goes “that seats taken”. so i go “where do i sit?” and D pulls the chair out that’s on the other side of him. well, B really wanted to sit by me for some moral support, but D wouldn’t switch places with me. so i pulled my chair around by B. well, the whole time D kept asking questions about me like what are my hobbies and do i skateboard and stuff. when i started talking to B more, he moved to the empty chair by Z (which NO ONE was really sitting at, Z just lied!) which was across from me. and then he still kept…
…asking about me. then B decided she didn’t really like Z anymore cuz he was acting weird. so B goes, “let’s go” and D was all like “aw, don’t go!”. since lunch was almost over, we decided to stay, but he just kept asking about me. he wasn’t even really talking to B or Z or any of the other guys at all. so i just need some input. do u think he really likes me, or was he just curious about the new person sitting at his table. ? and if he likes me, what should i do? he’s a weird guy, but he’s nice, so i don’t wanna hurt him if he asks me out. if i got to know him more, i might even consider it, but i barely even know him…oh well. good answers please!
it’s this assignment we have to do about any famous person.
and i need help… =/
she could’ve had a diary of anne frank… righhht? lol
but yeahh, i need helpp. thankss! (:
STUN GUN (Only a guy would do this!)
Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this:
Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a
little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your
assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety….
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.
Nothing!
I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I’d get the blue arch
of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!!
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries right?!!
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and
taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring about 5″ long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded
with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, “no possible way!”
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best… I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as
to say, “don’t do it master,” reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn’t hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WEAPONS OF MASS
_DESTRUCTION!@$$!%_
I’m pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and
over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles
nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making
meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, “do it again, do it again!”
Note: If you ever feel compelled to “mug” yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself.
You will not let go of that thing unt il it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative.
SON-OF-A-… that hurt like h3|| !!! A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent
reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get up there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I’m still looking for my testicles? I’m offering a significant reward for their safe return. Still in shock.
P.S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!
Stigma
Part I
By: Taylor Packer
The air was still in the forest that night. Nothing seemed to stir in the woods. No bugs sang their songs to each other. There were no animals in sight. The woodland was caked in a thick silver mist. The air was damp and heavy with humidity. A cold howl rang through the quiet void.
Something was lurking in the silhouetted trees. Something stepped on dried pine needles and twigs. The howl that had been emitted was growl that came from deep in its throat, as though it was gargling blood. The creature was nearly the size of a grizzly bear. Its jet black fur had an appearance of sharp needles rising from its back. The mane of the monster was nothing like a lions but rather of a wolf’s.
It pulled its lips back to reveal a large jaw with razorblade fangs. They were more menacing than its great claws. It shifted its weight with each haunting step. Unlike most creatures who would see in many hues of color, this beast saw only one. Its view was as crimson as the blood it lusted for. Its breath had a steady rhythm.
That was when it saw its target. The quarry was at the edge of the clearing. The beast heartbeat picked up speed as its pace quickened. Its mind began racing. It couldn’t wait to sink its fangs into the juicy meat.
It began running towards its prey, picking up greater speed with each bounding step. It would soon have its prize. It let out a growl of hunger as its maw opened wide. Its steps turned to leaps. It had its victim. He turned just it time to see the great jaws of the beast close around him. There was a spray of blood and sickening crunching sound.
It was over.
—
A red-orange glow coiled around the burning logs, making cracking noises as the heat split the wood into neat lines. A young man in his late twenties sat in the large library at a wooden desk placed near the hearth. He was studying a compendium of many newspaper clippings and listening to various digital recordings of radio news reports. All of these events he listened to and read about were starting to happen in the United States and news of it was spreading like wild fire.
Tatsuki Ohaira ran a hand through his short black hair. His brown slanted eyes examined all the information on the table before him. He needed the information so he could find his sister.
Michelle was his half sister. His American mother gave birth to her before she met his Japanese father and gave birth to him. Later, Tatsuki moved back to Tokyo and got a job as a martial arts instructor. He came back to America when he got the news that Michelle; his only remaining family member had mysteriously vanished without a trace. Michelle had become a reporter and after being assigned to investigate the recent attacks she went missing. Many of the people who went to the forests of northern Arizona and were reported missing, were usually found later, or at least what was left of them.
Tatsuki shut out that thought. He knew Michelle was a strong woman and was probably just lost. But lost for two weeks? He tried to stay positive but the little shoulder devil kept telling him to forget it. She was gone and there was nothing he could do about it.
Tatsuki could not accept that. He had to keep looking for some kind of clue, something that would lead him to her. He would find her, dead or alive. He could not throw away all that she had given him on the assumption she was dead. He just wanted his sister back.
There was creaking sound behind him that made him jump. In walked a tall thin man with gray hair and a wrinkled face. His attire was the same as always; a black tuxedo with matching pants, shoes, and bow tie. He came in with a silver platter that held a large vial of red liquid and a wine glass. Tatsuki didn’t drink wine but he enjoyed drinking from that kind of cup.
“Would you like some cranberry juice, sir?” The butler spoke gently as if it lessened his chances of disturbing his master’s work.
“Yes, please.” Tatsuki said. The butler began pouring the drink as Tatsuki returned to his studying. Tatsuki was one to get easily distracted, and when he heard the liquid slowly filling the cup he couldn’t help but focus on the drink rather then his current predicament. The small escape was momentarily relaxing.
“How is your search coming along, sir?” The butler inquired as he carefully handed Tatsuki the glass.
Tatsuki took a sip of juice before answering. “It could be better. I contacted the news agency and they said they have no idea where she could be. I keep reading these articles and listening to the radio to see if I can figure out what is doing this, but it is unlike anything I have ever heard of.” He took another sip.
“If I may, sir,” the butler said. “It sounds to me like we are dealing with a new species.”
“Don’t be ridiculous Max.” Tatsuki said. “This isn’t Bigfoot we’re talking about; this is a bear of some kind.”
“It is a bear that looks like a dog?” Max asked sitting in a wooden
EVERYONE!!! TIS IMPORTANT!!!
The name of the other is not Taylor Packer it is Tyler Parker!
Sorry Tyler!
*author… not other…
1. I sometimes see a tall, black shadow person walking down my hallway out of the corner of my eye, once i saw it next to me, when i turned over to look at it fully, it left.
2.When everybody is asleep, I hear dishes clanking together in the kitchen. and chairs moving, Once, i heard growling, none of my cats have ever growled like that. I’ve heard whistling also, and it was certainly not my tv.
3.My friend had felt something feel her leg at my house, and saw a shadow in my room.
4. Me and my friends were taking pictures in the dark of my room with all the lights turned off, with my camera on black & white. We were provoking spirits to come out. My foolish friend had yelled “GET OUT!”. We took a picture, and then tilted the camera to a certain angle and had saw a shadow outlined in white, just like the shadow i see in the hallway. I then uploaded the photo to my former laptop, & I couldn’t see the picture on the computer like I could on the camera. & after i upload pictures to my computer, they get deleted from my camera.
So based on all of this info, what kind of ghost do you think I have?
i’m not sure if anybody has died here. i want to go to the library to look up the history.
ok, give me some good answers people. & my friend seen the shadow with her own eyes. for gods sake -_- quit being jerks people, & if you’re gonna tell me i’m hallucinating, then don’t even waste your time answering.